Killing the Five Evils: Overcoming Lust (Kaam) Part 1

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

People often say that the most detrimental of all mistakes a Sikh could make is to get involved in a relationship with the opposite sex. This doesn't necessarily mean being physically involved, but even something as "harmless" as developing feelings for another person outside of marriage can cost you everything. It seems almost impossible to recover after such a mistake. Even months and months later, there seems to be no escape in sight from all the damage it causes on a spiritual level.

There was once a young Singh, perhaps in his early 20's, who used to do sevaa in Punj Pyaaray with Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh Jee. What a high avastha that youth must have had to do sevaa amongst such chardi kalaa Gursikhs. Bhai Sahib used to warn this youth to limit his interactions and communications with the opposite sex. He was warned to be careful and to talk to bibiaan less.

However, this youth, like many of us, probably gave himself a lot of credit. He probably doubted that he could fall prey to the enticement of maya and doubted he would be tempted by kaam.

But, lo and behold, he fell. And very badly, too. He committed such a grave mistake that warranted presenting himself before the Punj Pyaaray to seek forgiveness.

He traveled to a Smaagam to get peshed, but the Punj Pyaaray there told him to return to his hometown and get peshed there in a local Amrit Sinchaar. This youth however was extremely ashamed of his mistake and had too much pride to present himself before his local Sangat. So, instead of getting peshed and trying to continue on with his Sikhi, this Singh disappeared altogether and no one ever saw or heard from him again. Some say that he committed suicide since he was never seen again.

Drastic measures? I think not. It just shows how grave the mistake can be and just how detrimental it is, often to the point of no return.This youth didn't heed Bhai Sahib's advice to steer clear of being close with the opposite gender, so who would heed my advice now? All I can say is that the stakes are very high and if a Singh of such a high spiritual avastha can fall, what makes us think we can't? I see so many youth today who are clearly emotionally attached and involved with one another in the form of a "crush" if not more. They think they are safe and their relationships are acceptable and they won't cross the line by falling prey to kaam.

But I say you've already fallen once you've developed feelings of this nature for a member of the opposite sex. And I tell you, it could happen to anyone, so it's best to be vigilant. We are all like wax that will easily melt when placed in the vicinity of fire. We're better off keeping a distance from the flame because after melting, there's no going back. Try as you might, sometimes it seems that the damage is irreparable.

I'm not sure who wrote this but it echos most of the things I wanted to say. I will post some of my own thoughts on this next time, along with an amazing sakhi about Dhan Dhan Satguru Sri Guru Hargobind Sahib Ji Maharaj which relates to this vice.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh